Chapter 20

Song Zhangmu got out of the car with a sullen face.

Over the past few years, the stress had caused him to gain quite a bit of weight. Coupled with his delicate features, the added bulk gave him a somewhat kindly appearance. But now, that kindly face hung long and heavy, radiating an intense aura of menace.

The supervisor waiting at the entrance was pushed back several steps by this overwhelming hostility. When their eyes met, the supervisor could only steel himself and step forward to greet him.

“Mr. Song, you… you’re here…”

Song Zhangmu replied coldly, “You said over the phone that Lu Yichuan was about to die. How could I not come?”

The supervisor was left speechless.

He followed Song Zhangmu into the club. “I didn’t want to trouble you either, but Brother Lu hasn’t come out for two days. He doesn’t answer the door. You’re the only one I know who’s close to him, so I had no other choice.”

“Why no choice?” Song said. “Call 911 directly. I’d probably get to the emergency room faster than coming here.”

The supervisor gave an awkward laugh and fell silent.

Though Song said that, his steps were even faster than the supervisor’s, and he quickly rushed upstairs.

“What’s going on with him?”

The supervisor took out a key and handed it over. “I don’t know. He came here at dawn the day before yesterday and has locked himself in the room these past two days. No one can see him, and he doesn’t respond to knocking…”

Song took the key and pressed his temple, irritated. “Alright, I get it.”

Seeing him take the key, the supervisor tactfully went downstairs, leaving the space to Song.

Song inserted the key and slowly turned the lock.

Every time he opened this door, he had to prepare himself mentally, but even so, the overpowering stench of alcohol inside still shocked him.

The room was pitch black. Apart from the suffocating smell of liquor, it was so quiet it felt as if no living thing was inside.

Song’s heart immediately tightened. He kicked aside the bottles scattered on the floor and reached along the wall, finally finding the switch after several seconds.

With a click, the sudden light made him squint.

After adjusting, he looked towards the sofa, where a man lay quietly, eyes closed, showing no reaction to the sudden presence.

For a moment, Song's mind went blank. He stumbled forward, crouched beside the sofa, and pushed hard.

“Lu Yichuan? What’s wrong with you? Don’t scare me like this!”

He shook him vigorously. After a few seconds, the man, almost pushed out of place, murmured weakly, “If you shake me any more, I might die from it, even if I’m not dead yet.”

Song slumped to the floor, exclaiming, “Damn it! Lu Yichuan, are you crazy? What good does scaring me do?”

Lu Yichuan finally opened his eyes. Supporting himself on the sofa, his bloodshot eyes looked at Song sitting on the floor, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Doctor Song, I’m not taking the blame for this. I was just fine in my own club. You suddenly barge in and then say I scared you? Who’s scaring whom?”

Song wanted to leap up and shake him. “Do you even speak like a normal person? Do you know how long you’ve been in there? If I hadn’t come, your corpse would probably have started to rot.”

Lu Yichuan kept smiling lazily. “Sorry for troubling you. If I had really started to rot, you’d be losing money when you resell me.”

“Stop laughing.”

Song suddenly said.

“You look worse laughing than crying.”

“How could that be…” Lu Yichuan half-closed his eyes. “Rongrong says my smile is the best.”

“Rongrong! Rongrong!” Song suddenly stood and grabbed his collar. “Jiang Heng has been dead for a long time, understand? Four years. He’s been dead for four years. No matter how deep the feelings, it’s time to move on!”

Lu Yichuan turned his head and coughed, as if unable to see the hysteria in Song’s eyes. He still smiled and spoke softly, his voice so light it felt like it might scatter with the breeze.

“I dreamed again.”

Song’s hand froze abruptly.

---

“The sun was so bright in the dream. I just watched him get on the car. How far was I from him? A hundred meters? Two hundred?”

He stretched out his hand, pointing vaguely ahead. “Right there, so close, right before my eyes…”

Song loosened his grip, mouth opening. “You…”

Lu Yichuan let his hand fall limply. “Song Zhangmu, tell me, do you think Rongrong feels lonely down there? I should be with him.”

“Lu Yichuan!” Song raised his voice, “Don’t lose your mind!”

“I’m not crazy.”

Lu Yichuan looked at him calmly. His dark eyes held no light. “Just thinking about Rongrong being cold, unhappy, wronged, scares me. I’m not there with him anymore. What if he’s bullied?”

“He’s dead!” Song gritted his teeth. “He’s dead, don’t you get it? There are no ghosts. Once you die, you’re gone. Gone means nothing remains—no cold, no pain, no grievance…”

But Lu Yichuan seemed not to hear him.

“He’s so timid. I should be with him.”

Song snapped, punching his face.

“Sober up.”

Lu Yichuan tilted his head, licked his lips, said nothing.

Song’s anger softened. “Look at you now. If Jiang Heng knew you were living like this, would he feel at peace?”

Lu Yichuan twitched his fingers at his side like a long-unused machine, stiffly curling his legs and burying his face in his knees.

The room was brightly lit, but around him seemed to be endless darkness.

“I’m so tired…”

He said.

“Song Zhangmu, living is so exhausting.”

…

Song dragged him out of the club.

He shoved him into the passenger seat and, like a doting mother, buckled his seatbelt. “You’re coming to my place.”

The man beside him was silent. Only when he heard this did he slowly roll his eyes. “Take me back to my dorm.”

Song frowned disapprovingly.

Lu Yichuan explained, “I just remembered, there’s a cat in my dorm.”

Song was speechless.

He said, “Wait, you’re drowning yourself in drink at the club and leaving a cat alone at home? When did you get a cat? Why didn’t I know?”

“Just a few days ago,” Lu Yichuan explained. “I was drunk before, not clear-headed, so I forgot. The wind just reminded me now.”

Song thought, you really are a living father.

He resigned himself and drove toward the school.

By the time they arrived, it was midnight. Thankfully, few people were around; otherwise, with Lu Yichuan’s current state, he’d be a prime candidate for their school’s confession wall.

Song parked and followed Lu Yichuan, asking, “How many days have you gone without eating?”

Lu Yichuan’s clothes were rumpled, stubble covered his chin, and he walked slowly. After a moment’s thought, he answered, “Two or three days, I guess.”

Song couldn’t help cursing. “You really are my living father!” He pulled out his phone. “What do you want to eat? I’ll order it for you.”

Lu Yichuan stood by the door, rummaging in his pocket, and finally pulled out a key. “It’s so late. Let’s order barbecue and some beer. We can have a good chat about life.”

Song was speechless.

“Chat my ass! I ordered you millet porridge.”

He watched Lu Yichuan open the door and stood beside him, muttering, “I’m just saying, you can’t get full drinking. The ancients said, ‘Cutting water with a knife only makes it flow more,’ and ‘Raising cups to dispel sorrow only deepens it.’ Ugly cat!”

Jiang Heng, who had just turned the page and was still catching his breath, thought: Aren’t you being polite?

Song went on, “Lu Yichuan, your taste is unique. Have you been holding it in so long your aesthetics have warped? How did you end up with such an ugly cat?”

Jiang Heng crouched before him, sharpening his claws.

Song suddenly sensed a murderous aura and looked down, locking eyes with the bald patch on the little cat on the floor.

Seeing those glazed, luminous eyes, he paused and swallowed the words he was about to say. “Where did you get this cat?”

Lu Yichuan took off his sour-smelling clothes, looking for clean pajamas to shower in. At Song’s question, he glanced at Jiang Heng and said, “Not bought. It’s a stray I met at school.”

“Oh…” Song squatted, absentmindedly patting the cat’s head. “Don’t you think its eyes…”

Lu Yichuan’s hand clenched sharply on the wardrobe door, then expressionlessly closed it. “No. A cat is a cat, a person is a person.”

“Right. The cat food is in the cabinet below. Feed it for me.”

He said this and took the pajamas to the bathroom, leaving one person and one cat staring at each other in the dorm.

Jiang Heng stared for a while before realizing this chubby figure was Song Zhangmu.

In his memory, Song was a gentle, refined young man. How had four years changed him so much?

Time is truly a merciless butcher’s blade.

But more worrying than Song’s transformation was Lu Yichuan in the bathroom. Jiang Heng poked Song’s pant leg, looking toward the bathroom. “Mew?”

What’s wrong with Lu Yichuan?

Song said, “The little one must be hungry. That sound is so pitiful. Uncle will get you some food.”

He then, energized as if injected with adrenaline, pulled open the cupboard Lu Yichuan mentioned and filled a bowl with cat food.

Jiang Heng looked at the bowl, taller than himself, and was speechless.

He had eaten his fill that afternoon and wasn’t very hungry. Sneaking to the balcony, he wanted to check on Lu Yichuan.

Why had he changed so much in just two days?

But after taking a few steps, Song, full of concern, pushed him to the cat’s bowl. “Why aren’t you eating? You haven’t eaten for two days. Don’t tell me you’re so hungry you’ve lost your mind?”

He worried aloud, “You can’t not eat. There’s a saying, ‘Food is steel for the body; skipping meals makes you weak.’ Besides, you’ve missed so many meals… Seriously, have you really gone crazy from hunger?”

Jiang Heng thought: How did shy, timid Song turn into such a fussing mother?

Seeing the cat staring and refusing to eat, Song was pleased and patted its head. “Good boy, you know not to eat things from strangers. But I’m not a stranger.”

He pointed toward the bathroom. “See the one taking a shower? I’m actually his dad.”

Jiang Heng was speechless.

He resignedly opened his mouth and bit into the cat food.

Well-behaved now, please just be quiet.