Chapter One: I, the Panda, Demand Payment

“I, the resurrected ancient panda, now require each of you to send me fifty coins to help me assemble Chi You’s army of iron-eating beasts. When my panda army avenges our ancient wrongs, I’ll reward each of you with a baby panda! My true form is here, a real panda on camera—you should believe me now, right? Two-legged creatures, hurry up and reward me!”

At this moment, in the depths of the forest, a medium-sized panda cub, round and adorable in black and white, was gripping a phone with its paw. It spoke with human words, its expression grave as it stared into the streaming camera.

However, as soon as these words were uttered, the only viewer in the livestream left. The room was now empty and silent.

How could this be?!

Shen Miao was struck with panic and despair; her whole panda self felt out of sorts.

Wasn’t it said that humans nowadays especially loved pandas, treating them as national treasures?

Then why wouldn’t they send her money? She was the ancestor of national treasures—the treasure among treasures!

At this moment, Shen Miao began to doubt her own existence. She cocked her round, black-and-white head and stared with wide, circular eyes, trying hard to think things through.

Damn it! Making money in human society these days is so hard—how infuriating!

Back in the day, as the first ancient iron-eating beast to become a great demon, Shen Miao had led her panda clan and helped the Chi You tribe with manual labor in exchange for steamed buns.

But after sleeping for several thousand years, awakening her ancient divine blood once more, she found that human society had changed beyond recognition!

Now, money was hard to come by! Life was tough for both humans and pandas!

Shen Miao sat on a grave mound, shaking her black-and-white head, her chest still heavy with the grievances lodged inside her, feeling deeply stifled.

Before her awakening, she was the real daughter once swapped at birth from the Wen family, the richest family in A City. But after being brought home, her birth parents thought she was inferior to the fake daughter Wen Jiaojiao, always favoring the other and criticizing her.

Even her childhood sweetheart, whom she secretly loved, sided with the fake daughter every day, claiming she bullied Wen Jiaojiao.

During this trip, Wen Jiaojiao dragged her into the mountains and got them both lost. She fell off a small cliff. In the end, the Wen family and the childhood sweetheart happily left with Wen Jiaojiao, completely forgetting about her at the bottom of the ravine!

She was thirsty, starving, injured, and bleeding badly. Luckily, her bloodline awakened; otherwise, she would have been eaten by a tiger in that mass grave!

She had wanted to scare off the tiger and leave at once, but she didn’t have a single coin, and there was no bamboo in sight—she’d starve to death if she left!

Ravenous, Shen Miao decided to earn some money through livestreaming to buy a meal. Once she was full, she’d go slap everyone in the Wen family sky-high!

Thinking of this, Shen Miao let out an angry howl. But she forgot she had turned into a juvenile panda, so her roar came out as a series of soft, whimpering cries.

Instantly, a few humans were drawn into her livestream.

[Oh my god! Even if I know it’s fake, this panda is adorable! My heart can’t take it!]
[Has AI gotten this advanced? No, it must just be a beauty filter, right?]
[The streamer panda girl is quite creative. All right, do you have any talents to show us?]

Finally, someone joined. Shen Miao dared not be careless this time. For the sake of her next meal, she spoke earnestly:

“I can carry bricks, and I can speak human language. I can also speak panda, and I understand all animal tongues! If there’s anything you wish to communicate to animals, just tell me!”

[Come on, streamer, you’re bluffing. I’m a PhD in zoology and even I can’t communicate with my own cat!]
[Streamer, if you can really communicate, I’ll send you three hundred steamed buns right now!]

Three hundred buns would be enough for one meal! Shen Miao immediately nodded her round, black-and-white head in delight.

“Sure, sure! Ask away—I can answer any question!”

[Are you serious? Then I’ll call in. If you can’t answer, don’t blame me.]

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this!” Shen Miao patted her chest with her paw, the gesture instantly melting the hearts of all the viewers.

The number of people in the stream quickly rose from single digits to several dozen.

Still, nobody sent her any gifts.

It seemed people nowadays were not as easy to deal with as Chi You—they needed to see real skill!

Shen Miao grew even more serious. Soon, a young man appeared on the other end of the stream, holding a tabby cat with leopard-like spots by his side.

The young man wore a mask and waved to the viewers, cradling his cat.

“Hello, streamer. I’d like to ask about my cat. This tabby I picked up a few years ago and raised—he’s always been lively. But these days, Yuanbao has been listless, dazed all day, huddling in the corners and refusing to eat. He’s so malnourished, I might have to get him an IV soon.”

“I went to the vet, and they said my cat was depressed.”

At this, the young man’s eyes showed a trace of confusion. He stroked his poor cat and asked, “Streamer, you claim you can understand animal speech—can you ask my cat why he’s depressed?”

“Of course, leave it to me.”

After hearing the whole story, Shen Miao turned to the tabby and began questioning him.

But the tabby seemed to be hiding something, hemming and hawing, dodging the topic.

With her bloodline awakened, the panda side of Shen Miao’s mind took over; she no longer had the patience and etiquette of a human. She slammed her paw down on the stone slab beside her.

“Spit it out!”

At once, the huge mossy stone shattered under her paw, fragments flying everywhere.

[Whoa, is this streamer a violent little cutie?]
[My god, how strong is she? Tell me this is AI, please!]
[Maybe the stone was glued together? That scared me to death!]
[Streamer, are you for real? You haven’t gotten an answer out of the cat all this time. You’re just making things up, aren’t you?]

“How could I? We pandas never lie!” Shen Miao swore solemnly, raising her paw.

Soon, after a round of intimidation, Shen Miao got to the bottom of it and declared:

“Your cat isn’t depressed, nor is he in a bad mood. He’s just been overexerting himself with female cats every night, and now he’s suffering from kidney exhaustion. Dozens of lady cats every night—what male cat could endure that? Also, over a hundred female cats from the pet shop next door are probably all pregnant. You’ll have to compensate their owners.”

The tabby’s owner—and all the viewers: ???