Chapter 4: Reborn as the Malicious Scapegoat

Perhaps it was exhaustion after a long day, but Li Qingyun slept so deeply that she lost all sense of time and place. Half-awake, half-dreaming, she heard the piercing cries of a baby, each wail louder than the last, echoing painfully in her ears.

“Don’t cry, little one. Your big brother is here,” came a gentle voice, coaxing softly. Gradually, the baby’s sobs quieted, replaced by hiccuping whimpers.

Li Qingyun, bleary-eyed, turned to look at the two little brothers beside her. Another dream, she thought. She was about to drift back to sleep when—wait, something wasn’t right.

In the next moment, a flood of unfamiliar memories surged through her mind. To her dismay, Li Qingyun realized that she had indeed transmigrated—and not just anywhere, but into the very dream where she’d seen the callous mother, Li Zhaodi. Worse yet, after absorbing Li Zhaodi’s memories, she understood that she had entered the world of a novel. The original Li Zhaodi, whose body she now inhabited, was scarcely even a minor character, her presence in the book little more than a few dismissive lines.

Thinking of those brief, unflattering descriptions, Li Qingyun felt an urge to faint on the spot. Why did everyone else who transmigrated get to be beautiful, kind-hearted heroines, while she ended up as someone so selfish, so cold, so numb?

In the novel, Li Zhaodi had two sons: Gu Yanli and Gu Yanshi—the two little ones curled up on the bed beside her. When Gu Yanli was five, Li Zhaodi had been lured away to elope, only to overhear on the train that the man planned to sell her to traffickers. In desperation, she leaped from the train during her escape and died. For the rest of the novel, Gu Yanli never spoke of his mother; no one dared mention her, and it was no wonder, given how recklessly Li Zhaodi had squandered her life.

Yet, a glimmer of relief flickered in Li Qingyun’s heart. At least she had arrived at this point in the story: Gu Yanli was only a little over four years old, Gu Yanshi just five months, and the tragedy hadn’t yet occurred. There was still time to change everything.

Strictly speaking, the novel was a coming-of-age story set in a bygone era. The reborn heroine used her past-life experiences to raise her own son from a street urchin into an outstanding university student, and found herself a perfect husband to complete her happy ending. That husband was none other than the widower father of the two brothers: Gu Tingzhou.

After losing his wife, Gu Tingzhou had brought his sons to live with him on the military base. With work keeping him away and unable to cope alone, his mother came to help for a time, urging him to find a new wife for the sake of the boys. For their sake, Gu Tingzhou chose the conveniently present heroine as his new bride. The heroine, having been reborn and knowing that Gu Tingzhou’s future would be bright, appeared at just the right moment, caring for the boys with meticulous attention and, aided by Gu Tingzhou’s mother, the two remarried, each harboring their own intentions.

From that day on, Gu Yanli and Gu Yanshi became the contrast to the heroine’s son. The novel painted her child as the embodiment of justice and kindness, while the brothers were cast as villains, malicious and depraved. Reading with the protagonist’s filter, Li Qingyun hadn’t thought much of it at the time. But looking back now, she saw how absurd it was. The Gu brothers were simply pitiable children yearning for love, their mother gone, their father loving but absent, and forced to compete with the heroine’s son for affection in a stepmother’s home. Their fate was easy enough to imagine.

Though the novel claimed the heroine treated all three boys equally, upon closer examination, it was clear that her fairness was only for show in front of Gu Tingzhou. She never truly cared for or guided the brothers, so it was no surprise they grew up flawed—not irredeemably evil, but marked by wounded personalities.

Regardless of how the book had written it, Li Qingyun was herself now, and she would not allow any of that to happen.

The more she thought, the more her head throbbed. For now, she had to handle the present—Gu Yanshi was wailing again, making her temples pound.

Feigning a groggy awakening, Li Qingyun rolled over to face the two brothers.

Seeing his mother turn towards them, the older boy instinctively hugged his little brother tighter, scooting toward the wall, trying to make himself as small as possible. From bitter experience, he knew that whenever the baby woke their mother with his cries, punishment inevitably followed.

Li Qingyun looked at the two thin, sallow-faced children and couldn’t help a deep sigh. That wretched Li Zhaodi—how could she treat such lovely children this way? However poor the family might be, there was no excuse for not feeding them.

It was 1966. With the ten yuan Gu Tingzhou sent home each month, even if she didn’t work, the three of them could have lived comfortably enough.

She dared not act too differently from the original owner yet, lest she attract suspicion. So, mimicking Li Zhaodi’s harsh tone, she barked, “Da Bao, why aren’t you making some rice porridge? Do you want your brother to starve?”

Da Bao and Er Bao were their nicknames, given by their grandfather; their full names were chosen by their father.

Da Bao, well-practiced from routine, scooped up his little brother and climbed down from the bed, turning back with a hopeful smile, revealing yellowed teeth. Li Qingyun almost couldn’t bear to look.

“Ma, there’s no rice,” he said.

Mother was in a good mood today—she was going to let Er Bao have rice porridge! At last, his little brother wouldn’t have to go hungry. He would make it watery, as much as possible, so it would last all day. Maybe he could even have a few bites of real grain himself. The thought filled him with joy.

Seeing the happiness on his face, Li Qingyun’s heart softened. She took the key from her pocket and handed it to him.

In the novel, Gu Yanli would become a powerful figure, unpredictable and ruthless, ruling both the underworld and the upper echelons of society. But right now, he was nothing more than a sweet child, untouched by the miseries that would one day turn him into an unfeeling machine.

Since she now occupied the body of their mother, she owed it to these children to fulfill her duty. From now on, she would protect them.

As for their father—that would depend on his behavior. In the book, though he often punished his sons, it was out of a deep, misdirected love. He truly cared for them, just didn’t know how to show it.

In this era, you couldn’t even leave town without a letter of introduction. Life as a drifter was impossible. She had never considered, nor could she, abandon this family and live freely. Besides, she couldn’t bear to leave these two pitiful children behind.

If it ever came to divorce, she would insist on taking the boys with her, to keep them from repeating the tragic fate laid out in the novel.

Li Qingyun herself had grown up without love from either parent—she knew all too well the pain of that absence. So, though these children were not truly hers, she resolved to give them all the love and security she could, to help them grow into pillars of the nation. At least then, her journey into this book would not have been in vain.