Chapter Thirteen: Finding the Crux

“Braking?” Yuan Yi asked with a hint of doubt.

“Ever since the rescue incident, Madam Yang has kept appearing in my dreams, constantly pulling at my right foot… Is she blaming me for not hitting the brakes in time?” Yin Nian said, both startled and uncertain.

“Can you tell me the details of how you rescued her?” Yuan Yi propped her chin with her right hand, her index finger lightly tapping the side of her nose.

Yin Nian hesitated for a moment, then finally let out a long sigh and recounted how she had helped Madam Yang, and how she was subsequently accused.

After listening, Yuan Yi asked, “Do you think your excessive stress, lack of sleep, and nightmares are all caused by the behavior of Madam Yang’s children?”

Yin Nian tucked her right foot under the sofa. “Maybe… I truly can’t deal with them. They’re nothing but troublemakers, and they give me a real headache.”

Yuan Yi continued to guide her, “Have you ever deeply considered why their actions provoke such strong emotion in you? Why do you feel so uncomfortable, why does it disturb your peace and make you restless?”

Yin Nian lowered her head and pondered, “Perhaps… I’m afraid of losing face, afraid of people talking about me, afraid of their questioning gazes… And I fear the perfect image I’ve built in their minds collapsing…”

Yuan Yi summed it up, “So it’s the fear of others’ judgment?”

That sentence struck Yin Nian like a hammer, cracking open a place deep within her heart that had been locked away, flooding her with a chill that made her shiver.

Yin Nian knew Yuan Yi had seen through her.

In reality, Yin Nian was a confident and assertive woman, never one to back down, resilient, and determined to accomplish whatever she set her mind to—a strong-willed perfectionist. Yet deep within, she had always harbored a powerful craving for praise and acceptance. It was this craving that fueled her success; her self-assurance was nurtured by people’s approval, her aura shaped by their admiration.

She found herself in the recognition and applause of others.

Therefore, when people began to doubt her, distrust her, point fingers, mock and ridicule her, her self-evaluation system faltered. This was the backlash from her excessive pursuit of praise.

Once the backlash set in, her mindset changed, and that shift led to changes in her behavior. She began to avoid eye contact, started standing in the corner of the elevator, and walking behind her husband…

“I really wish I could say I’m not afraid… I’ve always been so confident, everyone says so… But now, I truly am a bit scared…”

“The old you was too perfect—or rather, you crafted yourself into something too flawless. You became immersed in that aura of perfection, unable to see the full reality. In truth, no one in this world is perfect; everyone has flaws, and everyone faces difficult problems,” Yuan Yi spoke slowly and firmly. “Most people live under the gaze of others, caring too much about others’ opinions, treading carefully every day until they lose and forget themselves. Yet, oneself is the most important—only by stepping out of the framework of judgment, quieting down to examine your true needs, can you find your real self and achieve genuine peace of mind.”

Yuan Yi’s words were like a revelation, clearing the blockage in Yin Nian’s mind. Yuan Yi was right—she had been too obsessed with perfecting her image, and the more perfect it was, the more easily it could collapse.

This accusation was precisely a catalyst for that collapse.

Could it be that her stress stemmed from this?

Yin Nian was surprised, confused, and a bit excited and joyful—a complex blend of emotions swirled within her, leaving her speechless for a moment.

Yuan Yi’s voice continued, “You dream of Madam Yang pulling your foot—on the surface, it’s a sign of guilt, but in reality, your subconscious is warning you to hit the brakes, to take a break at work.”

Yin Nian agreed, “I think you’re absolutely right. Maybe it’s time I took a rest. But besides the nightmares, I often have flashes in my mind of the accident itself—what’s that about?”

Yuan Yi replied, “From a psychological perspective, if you believe you haven’t done something, but your mind repeatedly conjures images related to it, there are two possible explanations. First, you truly didn’t do it, but you’ve received so many external cues that your imagination starts mixing reality. Second, you did it, but for some reason, you’ve forgotten it.”

Yin Nian asked in confusion, “But if I really did something, how could I forget? People can’t just choose to forget, and sometimes the harder you try, the clearer it gets.”

Yuan Yi explained, “When you encounter a powerful shock that you can’t process in the moment, your psyche automatically triggers a defense system. The main function is to protect your mental state, preventing it from collapsing instantly. When activated, the defense system seals away the entire incident, as if it never happened. In psychology, this is called selective amnesia.”

Yin Nian was amazed, “There’s really such a defense system? How did I never know?”

Yuan Yi said, “Actually, everyone triggers their psychological defense system at some point, selectively forgetting many painful memories. Some things are harmless, so forgetting them makes life easier. That’s why even when people sometimes trigger the system, they remain unaware.”

Yin Nian mused, “Then… can the memories locked away be recovered?”

Yuan Yi nodded, “Of course. Although recalling painful memories can be excruciating, facing the truth is always best. Even if you suffer from selective amnesia, its effects linger—nightmares are a direct manifestation. So, to truly solve the problem, you must remember the event and heal yourself from the pain.”

Yin Nian lowered her head, “Do you think… I triggered that defense system and forgot the accident?”

Yuan Yi asked calmly, “Have you ever forgotten something important before?”

Yin Nian shook her head, “No…”

Yuan Yi pressed on, “Apart from nightmares and flashes in your mind, is there anything else that proves you caused the accident?”

Yin Nian hesitated for a while, then finally told everything—her husband seeing the footage on the dashcam, Madam Yang’s lawyer finding a bloodstained towel near the scene, and her son witnessing the aftermath.

After listening, Yuan Yi pondered for a moment and said, “If it were just dreams and flashes in your mind, I’d say the likelihood of you causing the accident is low. But now, with this evidence, there’s a possibility you’re suffering from selective amnesia. Especially since your son said you fainted after the crash—that’s a common sudden response in patients with selective amnesia. Sometimes people forget after waking from sleep, sometimes after a sudden faint, as if flipping a switch.”

A trace of fear flickered across Yin Nian’s face. She had considered the possibility, but hearing Yuan Yi’s rational explanation made it hard for her to accept. It meant not only that she might have selective amnesia, but also that she might really have hit Madam Yang.

After a long pause, Yin Nian asked softly, “If it’s really selective amnesia… can you help me recall those memories? I want to know the details—I don’t want to stay in this haze…”

Yuan Yi glanced quietly at the wardrobe in the corner, “I can use hypnosis to unlock the memories that have been sealed away.”

The mention of hypnosis made Yin Nian inexplicably nervous, but she nodded, “When will we start?”

Yuan Yi replied solemnly, “Today’s consultation is almost over, and I need to prepare the process. Tomorrow, at the same time, we’ll do the hypnosis. Is that alright?”

Yin Nian agreed, and glanced at the clock on the wall—it was already four in the afternoon. Time seemed to fly especially quickly here; without realizing it, she had been there for more than an hour.

Afterward, Yuan Yi asked about Yin Nian’s childhood, her parents’ relationship, her marriage, her family situation, and had her share likes and dislikes. She compiled all this information to outline Yin Nian’s basic personality, which would aid tomorrow’s hypnosis.

At four-thirty, the first psychological consultation ended.

As she was leaving, Yin Nian couldn’t help but glance at the crimson wardrobe in the corner. She had noticed that Yuan Yi had looked at it at least three times during the session. Was something hidden inside, or did it have some special meaning?

Why place a wardrobe in a consulting room? Yin Nian couldn’t figure it out, but decided it was probably Yuan Yi’s personal quirk and dismissed the thought.

After seeing Yin Nian and Liang Zhicheng off, Yuan Yi returned to the consulting room, drew the curtains, and sat in the armchair, expressionless, staring at the empty sofa opposite, motionless, as if petrified.

After a long time, a faint creak sounded somewhere in the room. Yuan Yi seemed to awaken from a dream, slowly turned her head, and gazed at the crimson wardrobe in the corner, her expression grave.